Nine Below Zero and 3 O'Clock in the Afternoon

Greetings from the depths of the "Arctic Blast," as the nation's weathermen, with that inimitable wit of theirs, have taken to calling the hemi-continent-engulfing cold snap. Apparently it's not bad enough that I have to endure a temperature gradient between my endothermic entrails and the outside air of about a hundred degrees - the media have to make it sound like a cool and refreshing snack special from Dairy Queen.