Recommended Method for Donning

The Pharaoh's Dream

Alan Moore is...

YAHWEH, LORD OF HOSTS

He ain't your daddy's "I am."

So You Don't Have To

The Trees Have Eyes

Do Not Reheat

Phone Pix Redux, or, Rage of the Latex Long Dog

I'm Always Watching

Click to Biggie-size

Fichigan Limbo

I would say that life in a college town has its drawbacks, but such an equivocal condemnation suggests that life in a college town has advantages as well, which, given the fact that used bookstores and independent record shops are things of the past, is no longer remotely true. Among the more obnoxious aspects of life in Studentia is the poor quality of most bathroom grafitti. Admittedly, the English Building on my local campus can usually be relied upon for more interesting - or at least amusing - scrawled offerings; one stall on the first floor was formerly home to an entire essay offering an impassioned defense of hip-hop artist MF Doom. Still, if I am forced to avail myself of a restroom on campus, I try to stick to the upper floors of the various halls and labs, as these tend to be the haunts of teachers, researchers, and graduate assistants, rather than drooling undergrads. Unfortunately, even here, the level of discourse can disappoint:

Yes, hurling crude insults at your school's sporting rivals is indeed a mentally trying task, so make it easy on yourself by just copying the slogan off the front of your shirt!
Inevitably, some wag complemented this anti-Michigan salvo by transcribing the reverse of the ubiquitous tee:

I'm sure the inhabitants of Ann Arbor, MI are stung to the quick by this dazzling invective.

And yet, even the most depressing of stall doors will sometimes offer up an unexpected treat; after I had read through all the bathroom boilerplate on this door, discovering the tiny note at the bottom brought a smile to my face:

Sadly, no eight-inch tall dancers have ever undulated their way into that stall (at least to my knowledge), but whoever is responsible for that little snippet of random silliness certainly managed to make my day.

For God So Loved the World

...he gave up, like, his favorite Polly Pocket.

Thirty PSes of Silver

Now that Sony has finally stopped playing coy about the new slim version of the Playstation 3, it has been revealed that the garish original color scheme of the classic "PS" logo is being dropped in favor of an all-silver look that will be "standard across all platforms." It certainly fits in well with the Slim's matte black casing, moreso than the brightly colored original did with the "phat" PS3's piano-black chassis. However, now that the design of the PS logo has been called to my close attention, I'm noticing for the first time what a striking resemblance it bears to the ancient Chi-Rho christogram:

Further tomfoolery research on my part has brought to light possible evidence that those behind the Playstation project have been working since the early days of the Christian Church to control the destiny of mankind, as shown in this ancient image of an Imperial standard:

PS + PX = PSX???

Could the release of the Slim PS3 be merely the next phase in a millennia-old conspiracy to dominate the world? Is the installation of a Playstation in every home part of the ANNUNAKI LIZARD-MEN's plot to use BLUE-LASER DIODE TECHNOLOGY to MASTER MEN'S MINDS???

If so, great! I'm gonna invest everything I got in Tinfoil Hats, LLC.

The sequel to "I Am A Strange Loop" is "I Am A Wonderful Green Conductor"

Before humans walked this land...

...an elder race of maggot-men erected a crude ziggurat to their unspeakable god.

Just Don't Ask About the "Simplex Fields"

Pseudomonarchia Daemonum for the 21st Century

DOMINATOR OF SOULS

CONDEMNER OF SOULS

WATCHER OF SOULS

REAVER OF SOULS

EATER OF SOULS