Fichigan Limbo

I would say that life in a college town has its drawbacks, but such an equivocal condemnation suggests that life in a college town has advantages as well, which, given the fact that used bookstores and independent record shops are things of the past, is no longer remotely true. Among the more obnoxious aspects of life in Studentia is the poor quality of most bathroom grafitti. Admittedly, the English Building on my local campus can usually be relied upon for more interesting - or at least amusing - scrawled offerings; one stall on the first floor was formerly home to an entire essay offering an impassioned defense of hip-hop artist MF Doom. Still, if I am forced to avail myself of a restroom on campus, I try to stick to the upper floors of the various halls and labs, as these tend to be the haunts of teachers, researchers, and graduate assistants, rather than drooling undergrads. Unfortunately, even here, the level of discourse can disappoint:

Yes, hurling crude insults at your school's sporting rivals is indeed a mentally trying task, so make it easy on yourself by just copying the slogan off the front of your shirt!
Inevitably, some wag complemented this anti-Michigan salvo by transcribing the reverse of the ubiquitous tee:

I'm sure the inhabitants of Ann Arbor, MI are stung to the quick by this dazzling invective.

And yet, even the most depressing of stall doors will sometimes offer up an unexpected treat; after I had read through all the bathroom boilerplate on this door, discovering the tiny note at the bottom brought a smile to my face:

Sadly, no eight-inch tall dancers have ever undulated their way into that stall (at least to my knowledge), but whoever is responsible for that little snippet of random silliness certainly managed to make my day.

Misled by Devious Waggle Dancers

For God So Loved the World

...he gave up, like, his favorite Polly Pocket.

Mortal Coil

Thirty PSes of Silver

Now that Sony has finally stopped playing coy about the new slim version of the Playstation 3, it has been revealed that the garish original color scheme of the classic "PS" logo is being dropped in favor of an all-silver look that will be "standard across all platforms." It certainly fits in well with the Slim's matte black casing, moreso than the brightly colored original did with the "phat" PS3's piano-black chassis. However, now that the design of the PS logo has been called to my close attention, I'm noticing for the first time what a striking resemblance it bears to the ancient Chi-Rho christogram:

Further tomfoolery research on my part has brought to light possible evidence that those behind the Playstation project have been working since the early days of the Christian Church to control the destiny of mankind, as shown in this ancient image of an Imperial standard:

PS + PX = PSX???

Could the release of the Slim PS3 be merely the next phase in a millennia-old conspiracy to dominate the world? Is the installation of a Playstation in every home part of the ANNUNAKI LIZARD-MEN's plot to use BLUE-LASER DIODE TECHNOLOGY to MASTER MEN'S MINDS???

If so, great! I'm gonna invest everything I got in Tinfoil Hats, LLC.

The sequel to "I Am A Strange Loop" is "I Am A Wonderful Green Conductor"

GOP Gov Stuns Nation By Leading Remotely Interesting Life

Apologies to the Tonight Show

Marshall Clement Sanford, son of Marshall Clement Sanford,

(1)was born to a middle-class family in Florida,
(2)earned bachelor's and master degrees in business,
(3)worked as a student for Goldman Sachs,
(4)started his own successful leasing and brokerage firm,
(5)earned a 92 rating from the American Conservative Union during his days as a legislator, and
(6)transgressed against all his ostensible principles, cheated on his wife, and threw his gubernatorial responsibilites to the four winds by running off to South America and having a steamy, wildly passionate affair with a seductive, brilliant Argentine beauty.

It is a measure of the perversity of American values - and Republican values in particular - that the only one of Mr. Sanford's accomplishments people seem to think he should be ashamed of...

...is the one thing in his bland, by-the-numbers, white-bread, white-guy existence that he - by any sane standards - ought to be proud of.